Masterdater Mike’s top ten signs the bastard is cheating on you! 5-1
5. Change in appearance, starts caring about his body
I think the heaviest and most out of shape I have ever been was when I was in a serious relationship and it was not just me. Both of us beef-caked up a good 20bls! I remember when we decided to go on a diet together and for some silly reason we took nude Polaroids of each other (yes I am that old) and with permanent marker circled the bad areas. This was ultra embarrassing when someone found them at our house party and they circulated, she never forgave me.
I am sure it has happened to you when you have met an amazing guy. You took one look at your body and thought, “he is not going to like this horrible lumpy thing, I need the gym!” being in lust is a wonderful motivator for weight loss.
4. He is jealous of you
This one is the creepiest of the bunch, I discovered it by of course doing it. I once was absolutely convinced my girl was cheating! We got into a huge argument about her faithfulness until it forced my dishonesty out, oops…
Here is how the rational goes. If I am cheating she must be too because I cannot stand to be the only asshole in this relationship. Not only that but people love to project on to others. Angry? “People are such shits!!” Cheater? “EVERYONE ALWAYS CHEATS! Why even date…” So if he starts drilling you about who you were with out of the blue. It might pay to take a second look at his actions.
3. Repeats the same story or assumes he already told you
I have a rule. Never date more than 3 people at the same time. I know you are thinking this is a very conservative rule! Why not 4 or 5?? Well what I found was that the brain starts making some pretty colossal mistakes past the number three. “Jenny? I didn’t call you Jenny, did I?! “We saw that movie on Friday right…?” “Oops, I guess those are not your earrings…”
Now if he is cheating I imagine it is only one girl but it is still pretty hard to keep things strait. So when he says to you, “didn’t I already tell you that?” be suspicious! The person that he did tell must be awfully similar for his brain to categorize the two of you in the same place. As for telling the same story? Maybe he is just an airhead like me but his brain might have once again gotten confused as to which girlfriend he shared it with.
2. Can’t answer or talk on suspicious evenings like Fri or Sat night
One of the most simple indicators but very common. Unless one or both of the cheaters is privately employed they are off on Saturday and Sunday. So why can’t he answer his phone? Or why the hell is it shut off?? If he never shut off his phone before and is MIA 7 to 1 at night, I would worry. Sometimes I see my dad in Santa Barbara to go watch a movie but not every weekend and it usually was not very romantic!
1. The “friend” category in his life keeps increasing
And the number one indicator!! The Suspicious friends…
“I was out with friends, you know Jason from work… the guy that you have met only once and know nothing about…” This is what I call the Anonymous Alibi. He is going to Vegas with Jason? Really… He has no pictures to show you? Hmmm…
Jason, I am sure exists, which helps him lie. “It was amazing! Jason had a run at blackjack and made $800 bucks! Then he got so drunk I had to hold his hair out of his face while he puked! You should have been there!” Wow, Jason has some long hair and probably gives good head when your boyfriend isn’t holding it!!
The key is that you can’t check in on the new friend OR… God forbid, he has a real friend to lie for him. Double whammy, not only is he a liar but his friends are too. Bad sign ditch him and move on ASAP
Bullets.
• Once you discover and prove such a thing move on… please, for me…? Don’t be one of those girls that will never be respected again because you accepted infidelity
• Cheating happens and is not done by exclusively men, in my experience men and women cheat equally. Don’t make this an excuse to hate men. Instead ask why did I choose this kind of guy?
• Men cheat for similar reasons you might, a lack of love/attention and they are horny! But for men that order is reversed.
• Remember the world is a projection of what is inside you, want a great guy? Work on yourself not him
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