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Reasons People Cheat
Reasons People Cheat
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Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.
Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.
I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.
I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.
Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.
So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:
1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.
2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.
3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.
4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.
5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.
6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.
7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.
8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.
9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.
I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?
Signs of A Cheating Girlfriend
Signs of A Cheating Girlfriend
Cheating is the worst form of destruction to your
relationship or marriage; it is already
considered a betrayal of the vows they took when
they got married. The discovery of the act of
cheating by the other half can either break the
marriage or make it stronger depending on the
strength of their love for one another.
Cheating generally means that you are not fully
satisfied with your current partner or you feel
that something is missing in the relationship. If
you were completely in love and happy within your
relationship, why it might happen that your
partner have an affair?
Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but
yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed
something is different or questioned the change
of behavior in your partner.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what
state your marriage is in and if you believe your
partner is having an affair now is the time to
check it out and do a little investigation just
to be sure.
Start by looking for the obvious things such as a
change in the way your partner dresses, a sudden
desire to look good, a change in work patterns,
an unusual interest in the gym, secrecy over
phone calls or emails, a loss of intimacy in your
marriage, lack of sexual interest or distance
between you that never used to exist. In the
worst case you may spy her.
A cheating wife can cause much emotional trauma,
not to mention the harm it could cause a family.
Here are some important clues that might help you
to find out if your partner is having an affair.
1. Changes in appearance and attitude. She has a
sudden preoccupation with her appearance. She is
more interested on how she dresses; go often to a
hair salon and even to gym, even if this wasn't
her main priority before.
2. Lessened intimacy. If in the past you used to
share everything with your wife and then suddenly
she seems distanced and clams up when you try to
discuss intimate things, it could mean that she
has already distanced herself emotionally and
mentally from you. She is suddenly frigid and
loses any interest in doing anything with her
husband.
3. She's being secretive. She's no longer sharing
her daily events with you. She might avoid you
because she feels guilty. Don't get paranoid and
suspicious, ask her if everything is ok and tell
her she's been acting differently lately.
4. Disinterest in family. If your partner is no
longer excited to meet you at the door from work
there must be a problem here. Or when your
partner feels the sudden need to go out try to
find a reason to accompany her. If she comes up
with a reason that she had to go on her own push
the issue, not too much but just enough to see if
she becomes more uncomfortable.
5. Less arguing and fighting. She used to get
angry if you didn't want to come out with her and
her friends, but now everything you do is all
right by her. Once upon a time, your every move
had to be premeditated, but now all the small
things you used to mess up aren't enraging her.
This could be a good thing, but you wonder why
she no longer cares.
6. More phone and internet. In the last time she
speaks a lot at the telephone using a low voice
or whisper on the phone and hangs up quickly.
Maybe she set up a new e-mail account and doesn't
tell you about it. Watch out because she might
buy a cell phone and doesn't let you know. Ask
her if she is being true with you and if she
becomes accusatory then it is obvious that she is
cheating you.
7. She's always late. In the past she never came
home late but now this happens more and more. Her
explanation is that she had to stay more at the
office because she has a lot of work to do. Or
she goes to the store and comes home four hours
later. This is really a reason to worry.
Cheating spouses often look and act guilty, give
a general feeling that something isn’t right.
They try and avoid meaningful conversations, keep
everything at a general and non intimate level.
- 7 Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend
So, youve finally scored yourself the perfect boyfriend. After years of failed relationships (or no relationship) youre a happy yappy. Everything is going perfectly well, in fact a little too...
Funny Cheating Pictures
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My husband raped me
When it first happened in 2007, we had already been married for seven years – he had been my senior at the polytechnic and my first love.
Our marriage was on the rocks because I had just discovered that he had been cheating on me with different women for years. And his ongoing infidelity was slowly ripping us apart with frequent quarrels and scuffles.
One night, he started touching my body, as he always did when he wanted sex.
But sex was the last thing on earth I wanted at the time – I wasn’t even sure exactly how many women he had been with. So I pushed him away. He tried again. And I pushed him away again.
That was when he became frustrated. He climbed on top of me and pressed me down roughly. I struggled but he was stronger than me. He kissed me all over and started to force himself on me.
I was helpless.
When he was done, he simply rolled over to his side of the bed and went to sleep, leaving me feeling traumatised.
The next morning, he behaved as if nothing unusual had happened. But I was still reeling in shock and disbelief.
What had happened to the intelligent and attentive man I had known since I was 17, the student leader whom our peers had looked up to?
That night, he was a different man altogether, he was a stranger.
Cracks in an ordinary marriage
I first discovered signs of his infidelity in 2005.
I found photographs of him with a Chinese woman in her 20s on his mobile phone.
Then, when I was spring-cleaning the house before Chinese New Year in 2007, I discovered remittance receipts, a forged divorce document with a fictional woman and an application to marry a mainland Chinese woman in China.
I also stumbled upon sex videos of him with different women, who did not appear to be aware that they were being filmed. The discovery shook me to the core. Despite being married for seven years, I suddenly felt that I didn’t know my husband at all. In the weeks following that discovery, I numbed myself with 16-hour work days, only climbing into bed in the wee hours of the night, when I knew he would be fast asleep. Or I would sleep in my daughter’s room.
I was bitterly confused about my love for him and our marriage, but one thing was clear: I did not want to have sex with him.
The last straw
To keep up with the pretence that our marriage was still normal and to avoid another quarrel, I would make myself sleep in the same bed with him.
At times, he would demand sex.
Whenever I refused, he would shove me down roughly and force himself on me. Each time after he did that, I would feel deeply upset. But I coped with it the best way I could – I told myself to bear it for my daughter.
But he never showed any remorse.
I don’t think it ever occurred to him that what he was doing was hurting me physically and emotionally. Perhaps he felt that as a wife, I should always submit to his sexual desires. At that time, I had never heard of marital rape.
Late one night in October 2007, about nine months after the first rape, he forced himself on me as usual. This time, I snapped.
While he was going at it, I pushed him away with all my strength. He turned violent and we fought. In the scuffle, he slapped and hit me.
I sobbed bitterly and called the police. He didn’t stop me at all.
At the hospital alone, I was treated for my bruises but nothing more. It was simply brushed off as a case of family violence.
There was no mention of any medical examination to assess if I had been sexually assaulted.
At the time, I was too confused and traumatised to think too deeply about the matter. But looking back, I wonder if that omission was because my attacker had been my husband. Since marital rape doesn’t exist as a crime except under certain exceptions, there would have been little use in them documenting the signs of sexual assault.
Instead, it was on the advice of my private investigator that I finally applied for a personal protection order against him.
When he found out about it, he toned down his temper. It was as if he finally understood that I was being serious and would no longer give in to his sexual demands.
But I couldn’t forgive.
I don’t think I will ever understand why he did what he did to me – all I know is that he started raping me after I confronted him about his cheating, so I can only conclude that it all came from a place of rage, guilt or revenge.
I had once harboured hopes of saving the marriage but it came to a point when I just couldn’t bear it anymore.
When he finally moved out early last year, a few weeks after I filed for the personal protection order, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
* Name has been changed to protect her identity.
Diva - My husband raped me
Masterdater Mike’s top ten signs the bastard is cheating on you!
Masterdater Mike’s top ten signs the bastard is cheating on you! 5-1
5. Change in appearance, starts caring about his body
I think the heaviest and most out of shape I have ever been was when I was in a serious relationship and it was not just me. Both of us beef-caked up a good 20bls! I remember when we decided to go on a diet together and for some silly reason we took nude Polaroids of each other (yes I am that old) and with permanent marker circled the bad areas. This was ultra embarrassing when someone found them at our house party and they circulated, she never forgave me.
I am sure it has happened to you when you have met an amazing guy. You took one look at your body and thought, “he is not going to like this horrible lumpy thing, I need the gym!” being in lust is a wonderful motivator for weight loss.
4. He is jealous of you
This one is the creepiest of the bunch, I discovered it by of course doing it. I once was absolutely convinced my girl was cheating! We got into a huge argument about her faithfulness until it forced my dishonesty out, oops…
Here is how the rational goes. If I am cheating she must be too because I cannot stand to be the only asshole in this relationship. Not only that but people love to project on to others. Angry? “People are such shits!!” Cheater? “EVERYONE ALWAYS CHEATS! Why even date…” So if he starts drilling you about who you were with out of the blue. It might pay to take a second look at his actions.
3. Repeats the same story or assumes he already told you
I have a rule. Never date more than 3 people at the same time. I know you are thinking this is a very conservative rule! Why not 4 or 5?? Well what I found was that the brain starts making some pretty colossal mistakes past the number three. “Jenny? I didn’t call you Jenny, did I?! “We saw that movie on Friday right…?” “Oops, I guess those are not your earrings…”
Now if he is cheating I imagine it is only one girl but it is still pretty hard to keep things strait. So when he says to you, “didn’t I already tell you that?” be suspicious! The person that he did tell must be awfully similar for his brain to categorize the two of you in the same place. As for telling the same story? Maybe he is just an airhead like me but his brain might have once again gotten confused as to which girlfriend he shared it with.
2. Can’t answer or talk on suspicious evenings like Fri or Sat night
One of the most simple indicators but very common. Unless one or both of the cheaters is privately employed they are off on Saturday and Sunday. So why can’t he answer his phone? Or why the hell is it shut off?? If he never shut off his phone before and is MIA 7 to 1 at night, I would worry. Sometimes I see my dad in Santa Barbara to go watch a movie but not every weekend and it usually was not very romantic!
1. The “friend” category in his life keeps increasing
And the number one indicator!! The Suspicious friends…
“I was out with friends, you know Jason from work… the guy that you have met only once and know nothing about…” This is what I call the Anonymous Alibi. He is going to Vegas with Jason? Really… He has no pictures to show you? Hmmm…
Jason, I am sure exists, which helps him lie. “It was amazing! Jason had a run at blackjack and made $800 bucks! Then he got so drunk I had to hold his hair out of his face while he puked! You should have been there!” Wow, Jason has some long hair and probably gives good head when your boyfriend isn’t holding it!!
The key is that you can’t check in on the new friend OR… God forbid, he has a real friend to lie for him. Double whammy, not only is he a liar but his friends are too. Bad sign ditch him and move on ASAP
Bullets.
• Once you discover and prove such a thing move on… please, for me…? Don’t be one of those girls that will never be respected again because you accepted infidelity
• Cheating happens and is not done by exclusively men, in my experience men and women cheat equally. Don’t make this an excuse to hate men. Instead ask why did I choose this kind of guy?
• Men cheat for similar reasons you might, a lack of love/attention and they are horny! But for men that order is reversed.
• Remember the world is a projection of what is inside you, want a great guy? Work on yourself not him